


We Can Be Alone Together

by marvelfan4lyfe



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Crying, Lots of Crying, M/M, Recovering!Bucky, Stucky - Freeform, extremely angsty, how did this get so angsty, it got a lot more angsty than i intended, like holy shit, steve is the one being comforted, steve's only human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 12:25:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4221618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelfan4lyfe/pseuds/marvelfan4lyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James remembers Bucky, and he remembers what he felt. Especially about Steve. Might as well tell him, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Can Be Alone Together

He knows, he knows that he was once Bucky Barnes. He remembers. But he is no longer the honorable hero that history books praise. He may wear his face, but he is far from the hero.

Bucky Barnes is gone.

The Winter Soldier is gone.

There's nothing left now except for this broken, empty shell. A poor excuse of a human. His name is James now, but he doesn't deserve it. 

And yet, the man- Steve took him in, cared for him, treated him as if he wasn't a weapon. As if there wasn't 70 years worth of blood on his hands. James is confused by this. He is only a burden, so why, why does Steve keep looking after him? Why does it seem like Steve actually...loves him?

When he asks Steve this as he's calming him down after another panic attack, Steve only smiles sadly and says, "Cause you're my friend, Buc- James. I'll look after you now like how you looked after me."

He's not happy with that answer cause no, that's not enough. There's more to it, there's always something more. "No." James shakes his head and closes his eyes, leaning back against the wall. "There's something you're not telling me. I know it." Steve's hand stiffens on his back, and his whole body grows tense beside him. "You....you and Bucky..." He tries to continue but there's a lump in his throat, forcing him to take in a shaky breath. Steve knows what he's going to say, he can feel it, but it's obvious that Steve doesn't want him to say it.

"James, please. Don't...don't talk like that. You-"

"They say you two were friends," He continues, ignoring the plea. "but there's more to it, isn't there?"

Steve doesn't reply. He's not discouraged by this.

"You loved him, didn't you?" 

Steve's hand is now tightly clenching his back, and it's starting to hurt but he doesn't say anything. He deserves the pain. Still, Steve doesn't reply, and James takes that as a confirmation. He continues to speak.

"Bucky loved you too, you know." Steve breathes in sharply, surprised by what he just said. "He was scared, but damn, he loved you a lot. More than you could ever know." He opens his eyes now, finally looking at Steve, who looked ready to break, barely holding in the tears. He didn't want Steve to feel like that, but he had to say more, he had to say what Bucky couldn't. It was the least he could do for him

"He loved the way your hair seemed to glow under the sunlight, he loved the way you blushed whenever he described one of his nights out with his lady, and he loved the way your eyes always brightened whenever you talked about some artist you admired. Though he wasn't listening half the time." James chuckles. "Bucky just liked hearing your voice."

Steve's now crying, covering his sobs with both of his hands and he's begging him to just stop, stop talking, please. But James only reaches out and takes one of his hands, giving him something to anchor himself to. His hand is holding onto James' so tightly that it's starting to shake, but again, he doesn't say anything about it. Instead he says, "He was an idiot for not saying anything. And now it's too late." James looks sadly down at their hands. "Now you only got me to tell you what Bucky felt." He pauses. "Bucky loved you, Steve. Don't forget that."

And Steve breaks.

He caves in on himself, no longer silencing the sobs that wrack throughout his entire body. He cries years worth of suppressed pain, finally allowing his walls to crash and burn around him, and when James holds out his arm, Steve doesn't hesitate to fall into him. Their hands never break apart as Steve continues to cry and sob against James. And it's all so backwards; it's usually James shaking against Steve, it's usually Steve whispering soothing words in his ear, but now it's James rubbing his back, it's James who's there for Steve.

"Shh...shh...it's okay. You're okay. I've got you. I've got you." James murmurs softly to Steve, pressing his lips to the top of his head. "You're okay."

They spend the whole night there, sitting on the cold floor of the dark bedroom. Two broken men, lost in the cruel, dark world they were forced to live in, but at least they're together. And in some weird way, that comforts James cause yes, they may be dysfunctional, empty, but they're together. They're good together.

**Author's Note:**

> hey there, thanks for reading! this is my first fic i've uploaded on this site, but i have written a lot of stucky ficlets on my tumblr, divabucky. i am complete angsty stucky trash, just to warn you. theres a bit of fluff here and there though, if thats what youre into ;). but yeah, i really hope you've enjoyed readin this! it was fun/heartbreaking for me to write and im really proud of it, which is a first lol. ok imma stop now, its getting too long. (i love you)


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